Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Less than a month of summer left

School re-starts in less than a month from now.  That hardly seems possible.  I have my fall schedule printed off and ready to go.  Its a busy, full schedule.  Very busy.  Very full.  Paediatrics and L&D rotations and classes and labs await.

The problem is, I can hardly fathom actually living that schedule right now.  Right now, we're still in the middle of summer bliss -- no commitments, no real schedule, no morning rush, no lunches -- a whole bunch of nothing.  The kids and I are still doing tons of stuff; this has been one of the busiest summers we've ever had, in terms of doing fun and interesting things.  But the difference is that we're doing things on our schedule and on our terms.  If one child sleeps in one morning, that's OK, we'll just start our activity a bit later.  That's what I mean about having a 'schedule free' summer.

It's truly bliss.  This summer and last summer, I am enjoying my kids like never before. Before I started nursing school, summers we're just another marathon we had to somehow get through, and they basically had to be planned by late March, when the day camps filled up.  I now look back at those frenzied, stressed and over-tired days, and wonder how we did it all. 

Add to that, my going to a job every day that involved me putting in time, rather than enjoying it and looking forward to a fulfilling day, and it just made the entire situation even less pleasant. 

I want to stress that when I did work, I put in my best effort and did good work.  I was not a slacker, and on the surface, nobody would have had any idea how miserable I truly was at that job.  But from my perspective, it was simply a question of putting in the time, and getting through another day.  One more day closer to eventual retirement, several decades from now.  That was my perspective, and it was neither healthy nor living the life I wanted to live.

I really don't know how we did it, without the entire family unit falling apart.  It was having a detrimental effect on the kids -- they were showing signs of fatigue and stress.  My oldest was at the school's before-and-after school daycare, and was there from 7:30 am to 5:30 pm -- 10 hour days.

I'm not saying that such a lifestyle is not possible.  I am fully aware that this is the reality for many, many families, and they don't have the option to leave it. 

What makes me shake my head in wonder, is the fear of change that kept me back for so many years, and how it negatively affected the entire family.  We had been talking about this career change for over a decade, planned for it, saved money for it -- basically had all the parameters in place, except one.

That one was me actually having the guts to make the change.  Change is scary.  High job security is a strong force.

Now, having made the change, I cannot understand why it took me so long to make the change.  How I wish I'd done it so much sooner.  Yet, I am so grateful that I did make the change.  It would have been soooo easy to still be sitting in my office with the window, waiting to finish yet another work day...

Yes, I am so grateful to be where I am right now in my life -- even if it took longer to get here than I think it should have.  At least I'm here now.


  1. Wow. What a great post. I spent the past few evenings this week reading your blog from start to finish and I just wanted to drop a line to say: Thank You! What you describe in this blog is my reality NOW. I'm somewhere between having made a "decision" to change careers in mid-life (law to nursing) and waiting for an admissions decision to an accelerated BSN program this fall. There's this gravitational pull that I've felt toward nursing for several years now, but at the same time, (1) I'm older, (2) I have a secure job, so (3) what is wrong with me?! Why walk away from an established career and financial security at this stage of my life to start over?! But your blog--and this post in particular--has been a beacon of optimism and clarity in which I see myself, and I just wanted to express my gratitude that you are doing what you're doing and blogging about it. It's an inspiration to others out there like me (and you some years ago), and I think I'm finally reaching the point of mustering up the courage to commit to this career change -- my age notwithstanding -- and moving forward with it ... that is, assuming I'm accepted to the program I applied to. We shall see. But from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I wish you every success and contentment in your chosen vocation. -- JDtoRN

  2. Thank you, thank you ever so much!!! Your comment and kind words totally made my day! I received the comment in the middle of a very tough shift, and your words brought a huge smile to my face. Thank you again.

    I am so genuinely happy for you and the choices you are making. You are definitely not alone in making such a huge decision. One of my goals for writing this blog was hoping that it might possibly help at least one person make their own decision to change careers by showing them its been done, and that it is 'do-able'. (despite many 'logical' factors implying one should stay put in the current career.).

    Seriously, once I committed to that difficult decision to change careers, it became so easy. I've never been happier.

    I sincerely wish you all the best as you decide what is best for you regarding your career. It definitely takes courage.

    If I can be of any further assistance with questions you may have, or if you just would like further encouragement, please feel free to email me : tuscansunshine @

    Kind regards,