'Healthy fear', transitions and leaving one's 'comfort zone'

I've been coming across all kinds of interesting books at the library in the past few months.  It is quite amazing at times, to see what comes in when you just type in a keyword and the list of books it generates!

One small, quick read book was written by Barbara De Angelis, PhD., called, "Confidence. Finding It and Living It."

In one section of the book she talks about fear associated with transition and about starting new ventures.  Her take was that fear is a positive -- a good sign, that it means that you are stepping out of your comfort zone and becoming more than you currently are.

She summarizes it best in her words:

"If you don't have a dream in your head right now that scares you, then you've probably stopped dreaming. 

A lot of people stop dreaming because they don't believe in their ability to make their dreams come true, which is very convenient because then you can't fail....I call that 'healthy fear'. But when you have dreams and do nothing about them all your life, and you let the fear paralyze you, that's not healthy.

Every time I undertake a new project, or commit to a new dream, I'm scared -- scared of failing, of not doing it right that I may be making a mistake.  But the difference between me and most other people is that I don't misinterpret the fear as a sign that I should stop doing what I'm doing. 

I don't use the fear as an excuse to not go forward.  In fact, when I'm feeling nervous or frightened, it usually means that I'm really stretching myself out of my comfort zone and into new directions -- in other words, it usually means that I'm doing great!"

 

Those paragraphs really sum up my experience of the past few months.  However, that scenario described in the book is applicable to any kind of change or transition a person may be going through, not just a career change.  We have said a sad goodbye to close family friends this past week, who moved to Australia.  They are currently out of their comfort zone and going through this same type of transition.  See, this concept is definitely applicable to more than career change!  ;-)

Just something to think about, that indicates that fear is not necessarily a bad thing -- just a reality of life!  And, the change does not have to be as drastic as a complete career change or moving to the other side of the world.

Next week is the last full week of classes before the term ends...and preparation for finals begins...more on that later!

Nervous Nelly

My better-half actually called me this name a couple days ago.

And he was absolutely right.

(And no, "Nelly" is not my name!)  :-)

When did this happen to me?  How did this happen?  Why do I find myself worrying about and doubting things now, much more than I used to?  Is it age-related?  Did it start when I became a Mom, holding my newborn safely in my arms, and realizing how scary the world can be for my little nursling?  Is it a mindset that has become a habit?

Whatever the reason, I really don't like being this way.

A couple days ago at work, I was "worrying" out loud while chatting with a colleague, about whether or not I'd be the only one in class probably not using a laptop to take class notes with.  She's one of our younger colleagues, and is currently taking some courses at univeristy (so she's really in the know!!!)

I have a laptop, and I'll bring it with me and try it for note-taking, but I have a great self-made shorthand I honed when taking notes for my previous degrees.  So even though I can type fast, frankly, it will probably be easier for me to just write down my notes using the old-fashioned "pen and paper" method.

We had a great chat, and she told me that she uses pen and paper to take notes too.  She's in the generation that I am sure grew up 'digital', but writing is her preference.

I guess I'm already really self-conscious (in advance of classes even starting!), of not being a traditional student, and not really fitting-in.  But will something relatively insignificant like using a pen and paper to take notes really make a difference, either way, of fitting better or not?  I'm not so sure that would really make any difference.

Good attitude, friendliness and a smile will probably go a lot further.

It made me realize that I really need to stop worrying about these little things, and....
..................JUST BE MYSELF. 

Easier said than done, but as they say, realizing and admitting something is a big step in getting over it.

The purpose of this blog

So, last week was a major crisis in confidence about this mid-career change to nursing.  All my insecurities about making this change came to the surface again, namely leaving the known for the unknown, given family responsibilities I should perhaps just suck it up and put in the time for the next 25 years, and age.  This week, the mindset is better.

This leads me to why I am actually writing this blog in the first place.  Last fall, when I finally applied for nursing school, I looked and looked on the web to try to find a blog about somebody who had started nursing school as a second career (found a number of those) AND someone who voluntarily left a (seemingly) great job. 

There were many blogs of people returning to school after having been home with the kids for many years, there were blogs of people who were laid off or whose chosen career was unstable, there were people who were in dead-end jobs and who wanted to improve their careers, etc etc.  I even branched out my search, thinking perhaps I could find something where one started in a new second career in a field other than nursing.  But I could not find a single blog or article about somebody who willingly left a good job to pursue something different.  No luck.

I couldn't find any information at all about the process one goes through, when taking the initiative on leaving a great position.  So that's why I decided to start my own blog, to document this process.  They certainly don't call this situation the 'golden handcuffs' for nothing!

I still maintain that being in transition is making this process more difficult.  Once the change is real, and I am focusing on classes and clinicals, then it will be easier.  In my experience, it is always easier to deal with the tangible, rather then the theoretical. 

This week it seems I am mostly back on track.  I know I want to do this, I know I can do this.  In a nutshell, I am called to do this work.  Ever since I can remember, and even before that (so I'm told) I've been running to help people who were injured.  This switch to a nursing career isn't something that I've dreamed up lately seeing as my current career isn't particularly satisfying or interesting.  Rather, this is my calling and passion, and I am finally letting myself follow this career path (long and convoluted story there).

And I am so lucky and grateful to have the unconditional support and love of my dear husband, who has so patiently listened to me talk about nursing for over the past decade.  He has spent hours listening, discussing and convincing me that we are OK to do this financially, and that happiness is far more important than going to a job that gives little, if any, satisfaction - intellectual or personal - for the next 25 years.  And happiness and a paying job in a field that I love, priceless.  That man deserves an award!

Onwards and upwards!