Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Butterflies and calm

Attitude is everything.

Only two more weeks until nursing school starts.  And I've had a quasi-serious case of the 'butterflies' in my stomach for the past few weeks. 

It is a feeling of excitement mixed with a bit of fear of the unknown.  I felt somewhat better when I realized that this was not a new feeling with the approach of nursing school.  In fact, this was the same, exact feeling I've had every year I've had a school year starting, even going way back to elementary school.  It is a feeling that dissipates very quickly once I actually set foot inside the classroom, because then I know what I am dealing with. 

This morning, a'calm' feeling took over.  I still have the 'butterflies', they'll be there until classes start, but I also have a serene, peaceful, enveloping feeling of calm. 

I think this feeling comes from the fact that the major decisions, the months and months (years!) of thinking about making a change, of weighing the pro-cons of this decision, of convincing myself that it was OK to leave an established career, that it will all be OK and that I will be most grateful and much happier for having made this change --  basically all the emotions and thoughts that were put into making this huge career-change decision -- are coming to a close.  For all intents and purposes, the decisions are over.  They're made.  They're done.

And that is a huge relief.

I feel calm, peace and gratitude that this new phase of my life is starting in a few short days. 

The life-changing decisions are made, action has been taken to set the decisions into play, and now I get to crack open the books and start learning the medical stuff that I've wanted to learn ever since I can remember.  I finally get to stop thinking about wanting to do and learn medical stuff, and actually doing and learning medical stuff.

And that is an amazing feeling.  :-)

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