Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Mental Health Humour Break!

Do you have one of those friends who just seem to instinctively know what you need, and when you need it?  I do.  I am lucky enough to have one such great friend (thanks T!!!).  You're awesome!!! :-) 

In my email in-box this afternoon, I found the following jokes -- whether they are true or not, I have no idea, but they put a smile on my face in this long week of studying!



A man comes into the ER and yells ...'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.'
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear.
Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - - and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald ,
San Francisco

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.
'Big breaths,' . . . I instructed.'Yes, they used to be,' . . . replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes ,
Seattle , WA

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.
Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a ' massive internal fart. '

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications.
'Which one? ' . .. . I asked. ' The patch...
The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it! '
I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see.
Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!

Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair ,
Norfolk , VA

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, ' How long have you been bedridden? '
After a look of complete confusion she answered . . .
' Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive. '

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-
Corvallis , OR
Baby's First Doctor Visit

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
'Breast-fed, ' she replied.

' Well, strip down to your waist, ' the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, ' No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk. '

'I know, she said, ' I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came here today!'

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